PHOTO PROMPT -© Vijaya Sundaram
I say to the man growing out of the drain, “I’m looking up at the stars.”
His reply merges with the painful patter of the rain, ‘cause the world’s spinning, dizzy, giddy, crazy, again.
On his black tunic, silver buttons explode with the fireworks. My head pounds, a butt burns my fingers, the bottle rolls away.
*****
I awake to a pigeon obsessively rolling ‘coo’ round its tongue. The sound collides in my head like a pinball against bumpers.
“Can I go now?” I ask through the bars.
“Time for your weekly caution, Mr Wills. Artistic bent is no excuse.”
Written for Friday Fictioneers – a 100 words story based on a photo prompt. Hosted by Rochelle. Read the other entries here.
A lovely whimsy with a serious afterpunch
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Thanks Neil, I enjoyed writing it. The altered state of drunkenness, offers a lot of scope.
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Lovely story, nice descriptions, love the silver buttons … Sadly alcohol has a terrifying grip on some people. Mike
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Thanks Mike, I sort of had the hard drinking artist or poet in mind
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I love ‘the bottle rolls away’ – so perfectly succinct for explaining so many things, and a wonderful image. (I liked the rest of it too!)
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Thanks Claire, glad you enjoyed it, it was quite fun to write.
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Not a great state to find yourself in! Made me shudder a bit.
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He’s doing his Hemingway/Dylan Thomas thing. Not a great state to be in every week, you’re right.
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When he ties on one, he really ties one on. I loved this!
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It was fun to write, I’m pleased you liked it Sandra.
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I love the way this reads.
Very smooth.
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Thank-you, I enjoyed writing it so it’s much appreciated when someone else likes reading it.
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🙂
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It took me a couple of reads before I fully understood this. I am just an Essex Girl! But, once I got there, I loved it! 😀
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Glad you loved it eventually, Clare. He’s just a drunk in the gutter, looking up at the stars and it’s a regular thing.
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“a pigeon obsessively rolling ‘coo’ round its tongue”–that makes me hear the sound. Great writing, with all the senses engaged.
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Thanks, I’ve always seemed to notice that once pigeon’s start cooing they tend to go on forever, which is OK if your head isn’t throbbing, I suppose. Thanks for the comment.
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What terrific descriptions – so vividly and sparsely written which is so tough to do. Love it all. Super piece, Michael
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Thanks Lynn for your very considered observations. Probably some of the sparseness is a happy accident caused by cutting it down to 100 words. 🙂
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Sometimes it’s good to have a tight word count though – and it’s certainly worked here. Great stuff
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If he makes a habit of this, the day might come when the pigeon doesn’t coo.
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Dead write, so many artists seem to drink themselves into early graves.
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Dear Michael,
Such a whimsical and well written piece. A wonderfully painted portrait of the proverbial town drunk.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle, glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the compliment
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I enjoyed your take on the 100-word prompt and I like your writing style.
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Thank-you very much, that’s a lovely compliment and it’s made me feel very good inside. Thanks again.
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I wonder if that ever made an author improve… or how it’s connected… (maybe I will never be an author)
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I’m with you on this Bjorn. Maybe LSD helped with the writing of some songs, but I’m never going to find out.
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