PHOTO PROMPT © Yarnspinnerr
The solid slab of heat pinned Forbes down into his chair. The wicker scored a painful lattice in his dripping thighs but not painful enough to consider moving.
For want of anything else to look at, his hooded eyes rested on the ceiling fan and the flies buzzing endless figures-of-eight beneath it. Their energy drained him more.
“Any chance of having the fan on?”
“Fan broken many years.”
“I’ll fix it for a beer. What’s wrong with it?”
“No ‘lectric, need re-wiring.”
Forbes sighed, as he had the day before and the one before that, “Put the beer on the tab.”
Written for Friday Fictioneers – a 100 words story based on a photo prompt. Hosted by Rochelle. Read the other entries here.
He seems resigned to never getting this beer…
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He’ll get his beer but is too exhausted to work for it. Mind you he’s putting it on the tab so perhaps he’ll never pay
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There’s some lovely wordcraft in this, MIchael. I loved the sun as a solid slab of heat
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Thanks Neil, glad you liked it
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Very melancholy.
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Poor guy. Guess he’s going to bake, then.
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As he’s too lethargic to move, I think he will.
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A real sense of lethargy, losing the will to do anything. Well written – great use of language.
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Thank-you
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The heat really comes through. Great write.
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Thank-you
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Excellently done, Michael. I could so feel the weight of the heat and the sucking of any energy that occurs when it is this oppressive.
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Thanks so much Dale, that’s what I was hoping to achieve but you never know if you’ve been successful until someone says so.
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Ya done good 😉
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“The wicker scored a painful lattice” excellent description. Well done.
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Thank-you
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Great atmosphere. I felt thirsty myself after reading!
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Thank-you for your kind comment. Heat was what I was hoping for, so it sounds like it worked
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Yes, like my co-commentators I felt the heat and lethargy coming with it. Great writing.
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Thanks
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maybe tomorrow it’ll get fixed. hope springs eternal. 🙂
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I think he’s in a rut of needing to do something but having no energy to do it. Every day’s the same, he toys with the idea of mending the fan then sinks back into his lethargy
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Lovely word craft, I was there, but left quickly before the heat got me to.
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Thanks Mike
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Brilliantly done – I really liked the way you captured the lethargy.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank you very much
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You’ve created some memorable images – “solid slab of heat”, “The wicker scored a painful lattice in his dripping thighs but not painful enough to consider moving.”, “flies buzzing endless figures-of-eight”. Nice writing!
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Thank-you. I like trying out different ways of saying things and waiting for the response to see if they work, so your comments are much appreciated
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Me too and likewise!
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Dear Michael,
I could feel the air closing in on me. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle
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Excellent atmosphere in this piece.
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Thank-you
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A great word picture of the lethargy generated by extreme sultry heat., Well written!
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Thank-you.
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This has such a weight and feeling of lack of fulfilment to it, of waiting for something to happen. One to read and read again.
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Thank-you and thanks for re-reading. He’s stuck in a rut, every day the same until the weather changes at least, I think.
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My motto is; Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow–especially if it’s hot.
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And a fine motto it is, nothing wrong with that. I don’t know what my other half has against it.
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You get a real sense of the heat and lethargy in this piece. Lovely descriptions.
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Thanks Clare
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You really capture the heat , lethargy and stasis of his situation. I love the language- you see his eyes resting onn the fan – the flies – you feel the oppressive heat – sets the scene so well . Really great!
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Thank-you, I’m glad it worked for you.
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I sensed the Rick Blaine character from the film Casablanca, in a sticky hot mood.
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Thanks James. Yeah, he’s stuck in a rut of being unable to move until the heat relents
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Great atmosphere, you could sense his lethargy come through vividly. Nicely done.
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Thank-you
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You’ve done an excellent job creating a stifling, lethargic atmosphere.
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Thank-you, I’m pleased you thought so
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You made me thankful to not be wherever he is. Great atmosphere.
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Thank-you. Great comment
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Wow I really get the sense of the stifling heat here! Hope the beer is cold
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Thanks. I wondered if the electricity was out for the fridge as well
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Ugh…hot beer. I think I’d opt for scotch 😉
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But there’s no ice Dawn.
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Yes, I know. Drink it neat, but sip don’t gulp.
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Summers are like that where I live. I don’t know how people survived before air conditioning.
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Sounds like you live in a nice place, even if it can be a little hot at times
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Too exhausted to work for his beer and too clever to pay. But the heat does take it out of one. Or so I’ve heard–we’re in our fifth month of winter here 😦
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Ouch sounds cold, we’re just coming out of it, spring is threatening but not delivering yet
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